10 Things Mama Never Told Me.

1 -  Mama never told me to fall for a 6 foot plus with beautiful brown skin, with a wavering heart and a trim "too damn loud".

2 -  Mama never told me that I would fall for the depth in his voice, the twinkle in his smile and the sadness in his eyes.

3 - Mama never told me about the joy I would get from loving my own. That it would be like 
getting a bag to pack in my insecurities, fears and doubts.

4 - Mama never told me about the drugs in the sheets and the dealer with his hands in between my thighs.

5 -  Mama never told me how a man once made her feel the night he forced his stick into her hole.

6 -  Mama never told me how she pinched, scratched and bit because her first time was against her will. That it would be 19 years again, before she would be bold enough to talk about her first time.

7 -  Mama never told me that my first time would hurt as much as it did. That it would be only worth doing with someone who respects and deserves my soul.

8 - Mama never told me how deep issues of the flesh really are.

9 - Mama never told me to close my eyes, take a deep breathe, hold tight and get ready for the ride.

10 - Mama never told me that the first time after my Apple has been bitten by a slithering snake, my eyes will be opened to a whole new world.

To Time.

You see lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night, trying to get a hold of time. If it was a person that I could converse with, I would say:

My dear old time, you have been in existence before there was nothing.
You have seen the birth of good and the growth of evil. 
You have seen Men & Women rise and fall.
You have conquered even the greatest of us, simply because they ran out of you.
You have watched fools disguised as wise men who pranced on their horses in the pursuit of power and wealth. 
You have seen the deepest and darkest of humanity. 
You know the secrets on what makes the human race.
You have seen empires been built and destroyed simply by greed. 
You have seen nature cradle and crush us. 
You have also seen manmade inventions designed for the good and the doom of us. 
You have seen our essence of being.
You have been our essence of being.
So whenever I wake up from a dream, with my chest pounding, sweat dripping and my soul craving for more than the mediocre. 

Please stay with me.Just like you stood guard so great Women could dream and manifest in the course of history.Stand guard of my dreams.Take care of me whenever I dangle hopelessly from the edge of life.Take care of me whenever I beg for more of you.

To The Other Black Boys.

To the ones that do appreciate us. I see you. 

To the ones that constantly wave our flag, the ones that embrace us, 'attitude' or no 'attitude'.

To the King always polishing the throne for his Queen.

To the ones that refuse to give up on us, to raise our flags a tad higher because our arms are getting tired.

To the ones that respect our grind, to the ones that see us as more than sexual toys to play with when bored. 

To the ones that challenges us to do more.

To the ones that see our insecurities and our fears.

To the ones that stretches out their hands in the dark, searching for us like the light at the end of the tunnel.

To the ones holding us above the surface from drowning in a sea of lost hopes and broken dreams.

To the ones that is fixing a heart they did not break.To the ones that see the passion in our eyes.

To the ones that hear the melody in our voice when we are happy.To the ones that hear the fury in our voice when we are angry.

To the ones that wipe off our mothers' tears.

To the ones who come from a broken home yet have nothing but love and respect to give. I salute you. 

An Open Letter.

To all black boys.

Firstly, I am sorry.

I am sorry for opening my mouth in a room filled with your charismatic energy and saying "I don't like black boys because they just don't get me". 

I am sorry after looking at the glow in your eyes, the sharpness in your fades, the sparkle in your smiles, the different hues & shades in the room yet still opening my mouth to say "plus they are mostly liars and heartbreakers". (While the last one may resonate to many many girls, it is also a-actually most species of the male gender will lie to you and cheat on you at any chance they get because fuck monogamy- right?). Now that that is out of the way....let us continue.

Dear black boys, When your mamma or pappa keeps pushing you to go to higher education it is not because your name is one of the many things that they wish to add to their list of accomplishments.

Nor is it because they just love making life decisions for you. It is because they know that in a world constantly portraying black men as thieves, murderers and deadbeats. Just by punching in their stereotypes on their bourgeoisie' keyboards; an educated black man is like a weapon of destruction to their oppression and marginalisation, slowly disintegrating their racism one book at a time.

Dear black boys.When you tell your dark skinned girlfriend with her 4c natural hair that she should get it relaxed, just shh, please don't. Or when you tell your black girlfriend with relaxed hair that you hate her hair braided or you hate her weave and that she looks better with her relaxed hair or whatever your preferred option may be..our ancestors are rolling in their graves. Why? Because son whatever the black girl chooses to do with her hair is none of your damn business. Just because you share the same skin colour as her does not give you the right to dictate her hairstyle which by the way is already difficult to choose, thanks to patriarchal white supremacy and their-standard-of-beauty. Whenever you say this to a black girl, you are not just telling her "your opinion". What she hears is that whatever she does, she will not be good enough.

Dear black boys,(the ones who say they "don't date black girls because blah blah blah.."). You all need to apologise.I would say I understand why you "don't date black girls" but no. I do not.

Here is a list of reasons on why you need to apologise : When you say you don't date black girls because they are 'rude', 'proud', 'aggressive' or unlike the white girls / (insert any other race you think is better) they lack a sense of humour.Close your mouth, pick up a book or two, stretch your legs, go play golf, do anything but say something as hurtful as that.Because you are not just saying this about black girls, you are saying this to your great grandmother, your grandmother, your mother, your aunties, your sisters and other female relatives that I forgot to mention. 

Please close your mouth because you look ignorant and hateful towards your own damn race.

When Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, the Black Panthers and others were all fighting for equality and against segregation in America, it was these same 'proud', 'rude', 'aggressive' and 'humourless' black girls that stood and fought with them before other people joined in. Hell when Nelson Mandela was held in captivity for 27 years in his walk to freedom who do you think was holding down the forefront? A black girl. Shoutout to Winnie!!

(Anddddd now you're thinking, shit well that escalated quickly...) but I digress..there is more.

Hold your mouth because in every race there are strong, rude, aggressive and humourless girls who will pluck your balls and feed it to the dogs if you keep saying, trying or doing stupid shit.Hold your mouth because you look ignorant and ungrateful. You may not realise this but black girls are not just PROUD we are also PROUD of you. 

In a society that constantly tries to put us down, telling us that we are not good enough, being proud of ourselves is one of the greatest tools that we have. 

Hold your mouth or rather, delete that tweet which you are about to write on how unnecessary and overbearing "some black girls are". For every group  of black girls uniting like 'Melanin Twitter' or 'Melanin Tumblr' or 'Nubian Instagram' there is an opposite group stating how 'all this is that' and that 'it's not that deep'.

Hold your mouth because every movement  you may think is trivia, to us is actually a gradual walk to conquering our psychological marginalisation. 

Hold your mouth because right from your mother's womb to adulthood, we are the ones that will lift you up, cry for or even scream at you for every lose you take and for every mistake you make.

We do not care for your swagger, or your smoother than cheese on your bagel talks, or your 'big black cuckoroo' or for your DNA mixing with ours to get light-skinned babies because mainstream media tells us so (yes yes the last one is scientifically impossible but you get zee point). 

We care for your happiness, every time you win, we pop a bottle for you. We care for your pain, every time you face-palm because of the 'how big is your cockroach' question.We are right behind you, assuring you that that is not all you are.

We are here for every daddy or trust issue that you wish to untangle. 

We are here for every time you need to vent to someone who gets it too. 

We are here for every time the police shoots another young black man. 

We are here with our blogs typing away in your defence. 

We are out there in the streets with signposts shouting #BlackLivesMatter come rain or storm and the occasional sunshine. Whether we live in America or not. We are there. We are here for your depression that you never accept you have because "black boys don't get depressed". 

We are here for every time hyper masculinity calls your name and you decide to say no. 

We are here with our arms wide open when you just feel like crying because shit is hitting the fan. 

We are here in Britain, in America, in Africa, in the islands and everywhere else.So while we are always lifting you from the bullshit that you are constantly being showered with. 

Cheering for you while you race to the finish line without any privileges. 

Protecting you from the strains of white supremacy, please do return the favour. Because if you don't love, care for and look out for us first, who else will?

Xoxo -thetomorrowjoy.