My mother's daughter

 I am my mother's daughter,

Always eager to carry people on my back

when they'd never dare to hold my hands 

I give and I give until I have nothing left to give.

My mouth runs faster than a leopard

Like a wood frog my feet refuses to 
touch the ground on gloomy days 

I am my mother's daughter, 

I could try to fix a broken glass

With a pinch of prayer and a tub of glue 

I am my mother's daughter,

I pick myself up before I fall.

You are so strong. 
I am told

If only they knew how heavy

the waters fall from my eyelids at night.

Like rainfall in the Amazon forest.

But even after the heaviest rainfall

comes sunshine.

BREATHE

Breathe love, breathe

It will not be easy,

there will be days when

every tick of the clock 

will remind you of your failures

you will walk up mountains
despite doubting your ability to climb 
but at the top lays your essence of being 

nights when you press your face into your pillow 

crying away your frustrations into oblivion

there will be mornings when you wake up 

but will struggle to get up 

because your body has been paralysed with anxiety
 you will try to sleep off

disappointment and the anger

there will be afternoons when it seems 

like everyone in the world is against you

when they ask are you alright?

and you struggle to find the word yes

when all the nos accumulate 

and leave a bitter taste in your mouth

there will be seasons when men pour buckets of water 
to quench the fire in your belly

when old flames reignite

after you crawled through flames to put them out
  when ghosts of lovers past

haunt the castle you are building for yourself

when your insecurities hunt you down 
with pitch forks and torch lights -

looking to set your happiness on fire

But there will be a day when the storm will come
you will refuse to bury your head in the cloud 

like an eagle, you will dust off your heavy wings 
and fly to greater heights 
so breathe love, breathe

A decent grade student.

Life is hard, no one comes out of it alive.

You have family members who love you.

You have family members who do not know of your existence.

You have friends that make you laugh.

You have foes that make you laugh.

You have people who respect and value you.

You go to socials, parties, church services, debate nights, clubs, pubs and charity shops.

You meet new people, try to reconnect with the old ones in your life. Your days are getting longer and your responsibilities larger. 

You learn, you unlearn, you work, you spend, you eat, you sleep, you love, you laugh, you cry, you hurt, you heal, you let go. 

You are able to see black, white and everything else in-between.

Gradually your concept of life starts to change. 

You laugh a little less and you cry a little more. 

You are unable to tear the grey lines away from the black nor from the White.

You start questioning every decision you have ever made.

You start to wonder if you were ever happy or when you will be.

You stop being comfortable with your ideals.

You stay up till 5am in the morning, sometimes till 7 or 8 if your mind wants to run a little longer than usual.

You start thinking about your past, the history of how we all got here and what the future may look like.

Sometimes the burden gets a little heavy on your shoulder.

You scroll through your contact list and do the monthly cry on the phone to a friend routine.

Other times you try your phone a friend option and no one picks up so you sink even further in your ocean of self doubts and anxiety.

You start to realise that no one will be able to drag you away from your self doubts if you are not ready. So you wallow a little bit more in it or end the party and get yourself together.

Sister, brother, mother, father, aunty, uncle, wife, husband, spinster, bachelor, boyfriend, girlfriend, student, employee, employer, teacher, preacher, vegan, vegetarian, heterosexual, homosexual, transgender, biromantic, heteroromantic, homoromantic, asexual, straight, gay, bisexual, feminine, masculine, lover, fighter, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Jewish, pagan, atheist, agnostic, labels upon labels. 

You are asked to identify with one or the other.
Each tag puts you further into categories of structures and systems. Each decision you make is constantly being criticised by the people you know and by the people you don't know.
So close your eyes, you take a deep breath, you count to ten and you live.