My mother's daughter

 I am my mother's daughter,

Always eager to carry people on my back

when they'd never dare to hold my hands 

I give and I give until I have nothing left to give.

My mouth runs faster than a leopard

Like a wood frog my feet refuses to 
touch the ground on gloomy days 

I am my mother's daughter, 

I could try to fix a broken glass

With a pinch of prayer and a tub of glue 

I am my mother's daughter,

I pick myself up before I fall.

You are so strong. 
I am told

If only they knew how heavy

the waters fall from my eyelids at night.

Like rainfall in the Amazon forest.

But even after the heaviest rainfall

comes sunshine.

You Are A Woman, How Dare You?

You are a girl so
you must sit with your legs closed.
We do not want little boys to
go peering down your skirt
You are a girl so come inside
the house and watch your mother cook.
Watch how she scrubs off the
regrets off her gas stove.
Watch her morning and night,
how she washes off the
lies and secrets from her hair.
Watch how she carefully
fold her palms, day and night,
praying against the ghosts of everyone else’s past.

You are a woman so you must sit
but not for too long.
Your man will get hungry if you do.
He will need to be fed 3 times a day;
your body, your food and your soul.
You may talk but never about
being tired, being used or being free.
Don’t you know?
You were created only to be used
and discarded by men.

You are a woman so you should
Always make sure the man feels loved.
Feed him your life until you stop breathing.
Always praise his successes and never yours.
Gently stroke his ego until he forgets his failures.
Wrap yours up and hold them till your hands tremble.

Don’t you know you are a woman?
How dare you dream beyond men and babies?
How dare you dream of exploring?
Of endless possibilities and alternate universes?
How dare you breathe too loudly?
How dare you walk for too long?
How dare you work for too long?
How dare you put yourself before others?
Don’t you know you came to serve?
Just like your mother and her ancestors.

How dare you come back home liberated?
Have you forgotten the way to the kitchen?
Where are the keys we gave to you?
How dare you use them to unlock other doors?
Doors bigger than the ones we showed you.
How dare you?

BREATHE

Breathe love, breathe

It will not be easy,

there will be days when

every tick of the clock 

will remind you of your failures

you will walk up mountains
despite doubting your ability to climb 
but at the top lays your essence of being 

nights when you press your face into your pillow 

crying away your frustrations into oblivion

there will be mornings when you wake up 

but will struggle to get up 

because your body has been paralysed with anxiety
 you will try to sleep off

disappointment and the anger

there will be afternoons when it seems 

like everyone in the world is against you

when they ask are you alright?

and you struggle to find the word yes

when all the nos accumulate 

and leave a bitter taste in your mouth

there will be seasons when men pour buckets of water 
to quench the fire in your belly

when old flames reignite

after you crawled through flames to put them out
  when ghosts of lovers past

haunt the castle you are building for yourself

when your insecurities hunt you down 
with pitch forks and torch lights -

looking to set your happiness on fire

But there will be a day when the storm will come
you will refuse to bury your head in the cloud 

like an eagle, you will dust off your heavy wings 
and fly to greater heights 
so breathe love, breathe

THE DEATH OF THINKING.

I HAVE BEEN TWISTING AND TURNING MY TIRED MUSCLES ON THIS ROCK HARD BED. 

SLEEP LINGERS AROUND MY EYELIDS BUT THOUGHTS OF THE WORLD RIDE ON MY MIND.

WHENEVER I PUT MY FINGERS TO THE KEYBOARDS, THE WORDS DISAPPEAR

but when I lay down to close my eyes, it all fucking comes at once. 

OVERTHINKING AGAIN, SPILLING NOTHING BUT CLUTTERS ON MY BLANK SCREEN

AHH SHIT I WILL JUST GET TO THE POINT.

Everyday as I grow older, my small talk skills slowly disintegrate into the background.

THINK JOY, THINK, WHAT DO NORMAL PEOPLE TALK ABOUT?

Ask her about her family and what area she lives in.

OKAY YEAH, NOD YOUR HEAD.

Oh awwh, that's nice.

SMILE, SHIT NO DONT SMILE, THAT’S NOT FUNNY.

OKAY, NOW YOU SAY SOMETHING, LOOK INTERESTED. 
No, don't say that, she will think you are judging her!
OHMYGOSH YOU ARE SUCH A PRUDE! She says..

But why does the world not know about breast ironing?

Are single black women in movies like Karate kids stereotypes or representations of realities?

Why is an aunty twerking on twitter?

HOW DO WE STOP FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION?

Why did I never see jungle book as a child?

Will I ever be ready for a relationship?

DID I MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS?

AM I MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS?

FUCK OKAY DON’T PANIC.

THINK JOY THINK.

Or maybe stop overthinking.

BUT ARE WE BEING DESENSITISED FROM HARD NEWS?

Is it ethnocentric to think girls getting an early curfew than guys in some countries is not right?

Is freedom a western ideology?

Is that why we are still enslaved?

ARE WE REALLY IN A REVOLUTIONARY SOCIETY?

THINK JOY, THINK.

"It's not that deep"

That one time someone told me it's not that deep and I absolutely lost my mind.

You say all black lives matter, they say all lives matter.
But it's not that deep.

You say stop using our culture to make profit.

You say because I am a female I should be ready to be married by 30?

You say depression is all in my mind? 

You say I should pray to God to forgive me my sins? What if I can't forgive myself for my sins?

You say I am not allowed to touch myself because it is bad but it's okay for a guy to touch me?

You say stop using "mentally  challenged" every time a white man shoots up a couple of people. 
They say it's not that deep.

You say lets talk about institutional racism and white privilege as irrational.

You say why are women told to "chill" when they talk about issues that makes them uncomfortable ?

You say are relationships overrated?

You say so what did they do to make up for slavery? 

What did they do after they went out on their ships and took over lands that were already inhabited? When will the present generation of white kids understand that their privilege is irrational ?

When will they learn that "not seeing colour" is part of the problem when the system only sees you as an option to tick. As a category to add to the company diversity check list. 

You say "I wonder if my white male friends think how their choice of dressing will affect the looks they get from old folks before they go out?"

You say "I am not a feminist but I believe every girl should have the same opportunity as a boy, no matter what country she was assigned to by birth".
 "I am not a feminist but..."
...stop selling women with your products.
...stop calling girls sluts for sleeping with numerous amounts of guys.
...stop praising guys for doing the same things girls are told not to do.
...stop calling me high when I question the meaning of life.

You say let me do what I want with my hair.
You say take your standards of beauty and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.
You say men cry and that is okay too.
You say stop hyper masculinity and the alienation of feminine men.
You say what is wrong with femininity anyways?
You say why am I not allowed to question that the earth is round? When you question if there is a God.
You say why are we told to live, love, pay bills & die?